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'Angry People Really Tick Me Off'

One of the most encouraging books that I have read recently is by the best-selling author Gary Smalley, who has recently sold over 8 million videos on how to strengthen our vital relationships. John Gray, the well-known author of Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, comments: "If you want a lasting love relationship, I highly recommend Gary Smalley’s guide to forever love" (Making Love Last Forever, 1997).

One of the keys to his memorable books is that Gary teaches you how to fall in love with life all over again. Everything he writes has to do with the age-old struggle between the life-giving principle of honour and the life-draining emotion of destructive anger. The average person, says Smalley, has little or no idea how damaging that forgotten or ignored anger can be. Worse yet, most people don’t even know how much destructive anger they have buried inside, much like unexploded Iraqi landmines left in the sands of Kuwait. Once buried, our anger does its worst damage, wreaking havoc on our physical and emotional well-being. Facing our anger is indispensable to Making Love Last Forever.

Anger, says Smalley, is a secondary emotion, not a primary feeling. It arises out of fear, frustration, hurt, or some combination of these three. Anger is actually a coping strategy to attempt to banish fear from our lives. Sometimes our parents have non-verbally taught us that perfect anger casts out all fear, when the truth is that only perfect love casts out all fear.
Why are so many marriages in danger of being destroyed by undealt-with anger? Click to find out more...

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St. Simon's Anglican Church 
North Vancouver, B.C.